


chosen

by desastrista



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6950032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desastrista/pseuds/desastrista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has the first words their soulmate speaks to them somewhere on their body. Everyone except Erasmus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	chosen

**Author's Note:**

> I have never read any soulmates AU so I have no idea what the tropes / conventions are, but it was fun to play around with the basic idea. Also, just to note, Erasmus is slightly older in this AU than he is in the canon -- he would be about 22 here.

Erasmus liked to make people smile. 

That’s why, when Kallias said he would be having an engagement party, Erasmus volunteered to bring dessert. He made apricot-filled cupcakes and topped them with small, piped roses. They were popular at the party, and it made Erasmus happy to see how people’s faces lit up when they saw the cupcakes. Kallias himself was over the moon when he saw the dessert, although his expression quickly turned guilty. 

“They look so complicated,” he said. “And I know you’re so busy with law school applications. You’re so sweet for making these. Thank you.” 

Erasmus just smiled and murmured about how it was his pleasure. He didn’t mention that he hadn’t really started to work on those applications yet. That wasn’t important. What was important was that Kallias was about to start a new life with his soulmate and that he liked the dessert that Erasmus had made to him celebrate it. 

Kallias was surrounded most of the night by other guests, and Erasmus didn’t know anyone else at the party, so when the champagne was brought out, Erasmus ended up talking to a couple he didn’t really know. They were apparently friends with Kallias’s fiancee. 

“I’m so glad Istvan met his soulmate,” the man said. “He was getting nervous that the day wouldn’t come.” 

Erasmus let out a surprised laugh. “He’s not that old,” he said. Kallias, like Erasmus, was just finishing up his last year at university; his fiancee was only a few years older. 

The man smiled. “Oh, you know how people can get,” he said with a shrug. “You see all your friends getting married, and suddenly you start feeling that clock ticking.”

Erasmus just made a general sound of agreement as he took a sip of his drink. He was in fact quite familiar with that feeling. He tried to think of a way to change the subject, but failed. 

“So,” the man continued, “are you married, or are you still looking for your soulmate?” 

“Still looking,” Erasmus said with a smile and a half-shrug. He tried even harder to think of a subtle way to steer the conversation away from where he knew it was heading. 

“Still waiting to hear those words, eh?” the man said. “Well, I’m sure it’ll happen soon.” 

That was it. He’d failed. The topic he always tried to avoid had once again come up. “Mhmm,” Erasmus said blandly, before excusing himself, ostensibly to refill his glass.

Erasmus took his time fetching more champagne. He caught a glimpse of Kallias and Istvan, surrounded by people. Kallias was radiant in his happiness. It looked like he couldn’t stop smiling, even if he wanted to. He’d had the same excited look the day after he first met Istvan. Like almost everyone, Kallias had the first words his soulmate would say to him written somewhere on his body; the phrase had appeared right below his left clavicle in his sleep when he hit puberty. He and Istvan had discovered that they matched after they ran into each other on campus. After a few months of dating, just to be sure, Kallias and Istvan were to be married. It was fate. 

Erasmus was happy for Kallias, he really was. He could not deny, however, that a small part of him was also very jealous. 

Unlike most people, the words had never appeared for Erasmus. He had been a late bloomer, and so at first he had thought it would just take longer for him than it had taken his friends. But time had gone on, he’d aged and matured, and still the words had not appeared. Erasmus, it seemed, did not have a soulmate. 

 

*******

 

Erasmus liked knowing what he was supposed to do. 

Erasmus’s father was a lawyer, and so he had grown up assuming that was what he was going to be too. He had heard that English and philosophy were good majors for law school, so those were the courses that Erasmus took. He liked English fine, but all the philosophy courses he took his first year just left him confused and frustrated. He ended up dropping the major in his second year. A slight hiccup on the road to law school, he thought, nothing more. 

The problem was that, anytime he had a moment, he found himself looking into culinary school. He loved to cook, particularly desserts. He read endless discussions of the pros and cons of becoming a professional chef. It was not to be, he kept reminding himself. But that didn’t stop him from thinking about it constantly. And recently he had even started to attend open houses for culinary institutes. And when he found out that some companies he was interested in went to wedding shows, he decided to attend the next one that was in town. 

That was where he met Torveld. 

 

*******

The expo was much larger than he was expecting and fairly packed. There were vendors everywhere, selling flowers and jewelry and dresses and everything in between. And their numbers were nothing compared to the number of people who had come to go shopping. Erasmus had not expected such a crowd and was quickly overwhelmed. It wasn’t long before he found himself thoroughly lost. 

“Are you looking for something?” he heard a man’s voice ask him from behind. 

“No, I’m fine,” he said, although he kept looking down at the map they’d handed out at registration and up at the signs posted around the hotel, so it was probably fairly obviously that he was not, in fact, fine. He heard the man laughing. 

“These things can get pretty confusing,” the other man said. Erasmus finally turned to look at him. “First time here?” 

_Oh._ The voice belonged to an older man – a much older man, Erasmus tried to remind himself – with an easy smile and eyes that Erasmus couldn’t help but stare at. He felt the tips of his cheeks turning red. “Yeah,” he mumbled, suddenly disoriented. “I – uh. I just wanted to see some of the catering companies that were were here.” 

“You’re in the wrong wing, sadly,” the man said. That easy smile did not falter. “Although I assume you’re hear as a customer, so if you want to talk about booking a venue...” 

“Oh, no,” Erasmus blurted out. He felt himself blushing more. “I just – wanted to look at some of the companies here, you know.” The man gave him a confused look. Erasmus explained that he wanted to see some of the pastry companies here, but stopped just short of saying why. Certainly he was not going to say that he wanted to ask them what it would take to work there. Impossible dreams, and so forth.

But if Erasmus trailed off awkwardly after he talked about the companies, the other man picked up the conversation well enough. He worked at a hotel that was frequently booked for weddings, he explained. A few of the companies that Erasmus mentioned he had worked with, and he had some good advice about who to talk to in the companies. He also had some great anecdotes about what it was like to cater a wedding, and Erasmus found himself laughing and talking far longer than he had intended. After a while, though, some other customers started to eye the booth, and the man had to excuse himself. But before he did, the man said to Erasmus:

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” 

“Erasmus,” he said, and he tried to ignore the strange fluttering in his stomach. 

“Torveld,” the other man said. With a sudden, impulse grin, he added, “Since you’re not here because you’re getting married, I can ask you something I don’t normally get to do in my line of work: do you want to grab a drink sometime?” 

Erasmus gave Torveld his number, and got his number in exchange. As he walked away, heading in the direction that Torveld had indicated he could find some of the catering companies, he realized that he could not stop smiling to himself. 

 

****** 

 

It was a week before both he and Torveld had time to meet for drinks, but they texted each other constantly in the time in between. Erasmus found he had a bad habit of getting a stupid grin each time he got a text. Kallias had started to tease him about it. 

“I thought you didn’t do dating,” he said. 

“I don’t,” Erasmus said, although he had to admit the evidence was stacked against him on this particular point. “I just – it’s just drinks.” When Kallias made a knowing noise, Erasmus added, “You know, I don’t have a soulmate, there’s no point.” 

Kallias’s expression turned serious. He knew this was a sensitive topic for Erasmus. “It doesn’t have to be – all about that. It can still just be fun,” Kallias pointed out. 

That’s what Erasmus told himself as he got ready for the date. He was nervous; he changed three times before deciding on an outfit. When they met at the wine bar, Torveld came in a suit, and Erasmus found himself regretting that after all of that work he was still underdressed. But Torveld just looked apologetic and said, “I came straight from work.” 

Once Erasmus got over his nerves, he had to admit that Kallias was right: it was fun. Torveld shared some other stories from his work; Erasmus joked about his classes. He tried to steer the conversation as far away as possible from what his plans for after college. The topic never came up. It was nice. Low pressure. Easy conversation. And, he kept thinking to himself, Torveld was very handsome. 

Time passed faster than he thought. Before he knew it, the bar was closing. Torveld offered to walk him to his car. It was a beautiful night outside. Unusually warm for September – so warm that Torveld took off his coat, and Erasmus considered removing his own. Unusually for the city, the sky was clear and you could see the stars so clearly. 

A beautiful night. Romantic. 

When they got to his car, Torveld asked if he could kiss Erasmus. Erasmus said yes. It was a nice, pleasant kiss. 

And when Torveld waved goodbye to him, he saw the words on Torveld’s wrist, spelled out just above the cuffs of his shirt. 

_No, I’m fine._

Erasmus’s heart fell to his stomach. 

 

*******

 

Erasmus liked things to be simple. 

No, that wasn’t quite right: he wanted things to be simple. No more so than when it was getting dark and he had spent the entire day conspicuously not answering Torveld’s text or responding to his his dad’s recent email. 

His dad had sent him some information about law schools that included some of the upcoming application deadlines. Erasmus could barely bring himself to read the full email. His dad was excited for him to start applying. Erasmus just felt numb. This is real, he had to keep telling himself, this was happening. 

It was time for him to start being honest with himself that he did not want to go to law school. 

He just wasn’t sure he could bring himself to be honest with his dad just yet. 

And Torveld...if Torveld thought anything of the fact that Erasmus’s first words to him had been the same words written on his wrist, he hadn’t seemed to show it. He’d just said _I had fun last night. Do you want to grab dinner again sometime soon?_

Erasmus had no idea how he could be so calm about it. 

Erasmus had distracted himself with other things during the day. Now, he was out of excuses. He picked up his phone. 

_I had fun too,_ he texted. 

And then he added, _But I’m sorry, I don’t have any writing anywhere on my body._

Torveld was quick to respond. _Next weekend work for you? I’m busy all week. And, oh, that’s different. Are you the only one you know of like that?_

The non-reaction took Erasmus by surprise. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. For Torveld to be angry, maybe, or lose interest? Because Erasmus couldn’t be his soulmate. But he hadn’t seemed to be bothered by it at all. 

_I know the first words I said to you are on your arm,_ he texted back. 

_Yeah. We can talk about it more in person if you’re free. Next weekend?_

Erasmus gave a weak smile. Sure, he texted. 

He laughed when Torveld just sent him a kissy face emoji back. 

 

******** 

 

The restaurant Torveld had suggested for their next date was nice, and the food was superb. It probably helped that they had enough to talk about that the subject of soulmates did not even come up until they had almost finished with dinner. 

“I would have thought,” Erasmus started, feeling suddenly shy. “I don’t know. That you’d have more of a reaction, to you having my first words on your wrist but me not having any words at all.” 

Torveld just made a contemplative noise. “Truth is,” he began in a hesitant tone, as if he wasn’t quite sure either how much he wanted to share, “You’re not the first person I’ve met who said that as their first words to me. There was someone – a while ago – who I matched with. They had my first words on their ankle, I had their first words on my wrist.” 

“Really?” Erasmus asked. But Torveld was single. (At least, Erasmus hoped he was single.) Had something happened to his soulmate? 

“So we went on a few dates,” Torveld continued, looking pensive. He was staring off into the distance, not quite looking at Erasmus, “You know, test things out. And, uh,” here he gave a rueful laugh, “it didn’t really work out. But you know, you think, this person is my soulmate. It’s got to work out. So you try harder, you know, you want to make the thing work.” He paused and winced, clearly not enjoying reliving these particular memories. “And for a while, it seemed like – things could get better. We kept seeing each other. And then one day, he said to me,” here Torveld laughed even as he was shaking his head, “he said, ‘You know, I just think our words are too generic.’ And I didn’t see him again after that.” 

“As far as a parting breakup message, I’ve got to admit, it stung. But I really just – did not like this guy, so.” Torveld concluded the story with a shrug. 

“I’ve never heard of that happening before,” Erasmus said, almost in awe. 

Torveld didn’t seem particularly bothered by the whole affair. He took another drink of wine. “So,” he said, “I’ve stopped putting that much stock into this whole soulmates things. People repeat conversations all the time. Maybe there are people out there who are lucky enough to have highly specific first words, but I happen to not be one of them.” 

Erasmus let out a huff of laughter. So maybe Torveld didn’t think Erasmus was his soulmate. At least, he certainly didn’t feel like he had to be. It felt like a strange weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“I’m more interested in your story,” Torveld said, his attention turning fully back to Erasmus. “No words, that has to be unusual.” 

It was Erasmus’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve always just assumed I didn’t have a soulmate.” 

Torveld made a contemplative noise, as if he could see where Erasmus would get that idea. “That’s one interpretation. And there’s nothing wrong with that, if it is true. I don’t think everyone needs a soulmate.” He paused, though, looking contemplative. “But what if it just meant you had a choice?” 

“A choice?” Erasmus echoed. He wasn’t sure he understood. 

“Sure,” Torveld said. “Everyone else, fate chooses their soulmate. For you, you get to choose.” 

Erasmus blanched. 

He’d never thought about it that way. 

He blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. “That’s terrifying.” 

It took a moment for Torveld to stop laughing. “I guess,” he finally said. “There is something terrifying about having to make a choice. Not having everything decided for you. But there’s also something – I don’t know. Liberating, isn’t there?”

Erasmus felt his stomach twist itself into a knot just at the thought. He wasn’t so sure he agreed with Torveld on this one. Maybe he just needed more time. 

They talked about other things after that. Like the last time, the date went on and on and Erasmus barely seemed to notice. But he felt a strange lightness as the conversation continued. He felt, oddly, free. 

 

******* 

 

If Erasmus was to be really honest with himself, what he liked best was being told what to do.

There was something comforting about having others make decisions for you. After all, there are some awfully tough choices out there, and it can feel easier to have other people make them for you.  
But Erasmus knew it could not go on forever. 

The next night, he called his dad and talked to him about his plans for after college. He said that he did not think he wanted to be a lawyer. His dad was shocked at first, but as they talked, he admitted that Erasmus probably wouldn’t have liked law school very much. He was excited, however, when Erasmus told him that he had been looking into culinary schools and said that he would look into it too. Overall, it was a far better conversation than Erasmus had been expecting. 

While he was calling his dad, Torveld had texted him about a third date. Erasmus suggested a movie.


End file.
